Warning: If you seek deep insights into the relationship between Earth and (wo)Man or the meaning of life, this is not for you.
So I heard some pretty bitter things come out of my mouth today. I think it’s kind of like when you eat too much crap and you get acid re-flux. This was like an emotional acid re-flux to an anger brewing in my stomach. Sounds fun right?
Now usually I can bat these thoughts away, tell myself I’m being stupid, but it takes a lot of effort and self control to stay positive all the time. Usually I can catch the feeling before it reaches the pit of my stomach. But sometimes I get preoccupied with other things, stressed out, and I lose my focus. I forget to catch them.
Most days I can stop myself sounding like a bitter old hag but today it’s like someone slipped me truth pills. All the anger and disappointment that had been building with out my knowledge spilled forth unannounced and I clasped my hand over my mouth in shock, then laughed. Like a crazy person.
But you know what? Sometimes you’ve just got to let it out. You can’t do right for doing wrong these days. When people are negative sometimes I want to slap it out of them. But then there are days when I get sick of the whole ‘set your goals! Life is what you make it, you’re the only one who can make a change!’ crap too. This is all true, but that doesn’t mean I have to do it today. Today I need to sit on the couch and eat my weight in pizza. I need to feed my soul, once this happens, then tomorrow I can get up and kick arse. But just for today I need to let myself feel shit. Sometimes you just can’t pretend or hold it in. And that’s not a bad thing. As long as you don’t use it for evil then it’s fine!
Had a shit day at work? It’s OK tomorrow will be better. But if you need to go for a run and not talk to anyone, or spend an entire evening watching a whole series of True Blood that’s fine too. Feel shit about being single today? That’s OK, tomorrow you’ll realise that it’s not the end of the world and it’s better to be on your own till you find the right person. But today if you want to watch chick flicks and yell ‘Lies! It’s all lies!’ have at it! Of course other worries can’t be batted away as easily, but some things you don’t have control over. Focus on the things you can control, and let go of the things you can’t.
All I’m saying is, being an adult (I can’t believe I fit this category) is bloody shite sometimes. It is hard to hold everything in and keep it together. So tomorrow you can go back to being a warrior or king or whatever they plaster across pictures of sunsets, but today, let it out.