We all need to believe in a bit of magic from time to time. It’s easy to get sucked into the negative spiral. Everything goes wrong all the time, you can never get on top of things, you never get enough sleep. There will always be things to worry about. Some of it is justified, but some of it isn’t.
I am a classic worrier. I worry about things before there’s anything to worry about. I carry guilt around with me like it’s the perfect accessory; I can’t leave the house without it goes with everything. I feel guilty when I’m not being selfless, tell myself I’m being selfish. But as I get older, I find my attitude changing.
I had a teacher tell me something when I was sixteen, and it has stayed with me every since. She told me not to worry, because ‘It’s just life.’ So last night, as I lay in bed, tossing and turning, stressing over insignificant things, I told myself to let go. Just let it all go.
I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that there is some kind of magic in this life. It’s not always a horse drawn carriage, or miraculously eating what you want without gaining weight (If I was a witch that would be first on my to do list). It could be something tiny, something that you could over look in your day to day life. But it’s out there.
I know it sounds ludicrous, but I believe that I have to believe in something. My funks come and go, sometimes I don’t know how long they will last, sometimes I just feel really good. This is one of the times that I feel good. I feel solid and strong, but most of all I feel content. I don’t feel content for any particular reason, or because of anyone. I think it’s because I realised that the only way to be happy is to be true to yourself.
Now, I don’t know what my magic is, but I can feel it’s coming. Do I sound ridiculous? Of course I do, stark raving mad. But what else is new? If I ever start talking sense then you know that something is wrong.
I’m not a mathematical person, I’m not good at science, I’m very rarely meticulous, but I do have good instincts. I feel things I can’t explain (No I’m not confessing that I’m psychic), but maybe I’m wrong. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have my own volt of hilariously tragic tales, but I’ve always believed that if you’re happy or something is good, savour every moment of it, because you don’t know how long it will last.
I don’t know if you believe in magic, or think that this is completely ridiculous, but whoever you are, wherever you are, I hope you find your magic. Here’s hoping one day I find mine too.