The Middle


Isn’t it funny how all kids want to grow up and all adults want to be kids again?

It’s like we’re either in a rush to accelerate the process or reverse it, and I think I’ve figured out why. Because being in the middle, absolutely sucks. It’s like being a kid running around in circles, only with more responsibility, bills and back ache. Even as a twenty-something you find yourself wondering what you’ll be when you grow up because all you seem to do is muddle through. If it’s not bed hopping its job hopping and either way, it’s exhausting.

What happened?

Lately I just feel like the building blocks you give to children to start developing their hand eye co-ordination; every time I build it up someone comes and knocks it down. The worst part is feeling like you’re fighting the world when really you’re just fighting yourself, because you’re not happy. And everyone seems to be contributing to your frustration, when really you’re just frustrated with yourself.

While we’re at it, let’s just get one thing straight; life’s a bitch. It doesn’t ever stop being a bitch, you just develop and ability to handle it better. Either with alcohol, chocolate or a JML shopping addiction (today’s kids will never know).

But being an adult isn’t all bad. So here’s a breakdown of reasons to like being an adult.

You’re in control of your own bedtime.

When I was a kid I wanted to stay up late (oh energy, how I miss you) and use to hate having to go to bed because I had school the next day. Now I get to go to bed whenever I want! Want to stay up binge watching something on Netflix? No problem. Want to go to bed at nine o’clock, who’s going to stop me? Am I right?


Remember when you were young and a pain in the arse because you didn’t have your afternoon nap? Not any more my friends. Now you have this magical elixir that looks like mud but tastes like heaven, if heaven were in a cup form and you could dunk biscuits in it.


Ok so I try and control my swearing, and I’m never successful. It just gets the job done. If I had a penny for every time I exclaimed ‘For fucksake!’ I wouldn’t have to work. When you’re a kid you get told off for your swearing, some people don’t like it as you get older, granted. I’ve been told it’s not lady like but then again neither is wearing trousers. Last time I checked my corset wasn’t too tight and I left my bonnet at home so…outdated concept just like your Nokia 3310.

You don’t need to impress anyone.

Whoever doesn’t like you at this point can do one. You’ve worked hard on yourself, you’ve been through the horrible teenage years and you’ve come out the other side stronger and more secure in yourself. Your early twenties tried to throw you some curve balls but you handled it without any dignity and large quantities of alcohol, or in my case the Red Hot Chili Peppers. You have learnt not to wear white eye shadow and clear mascara, and that jean jackets with jogging bottoms are not a winning combination. Which leads nicely on to my next point.

You get to choose what you wear.

I’m pretty sure if memory serves me correctly there’s a picture of me as a kid wearing a tan suede dress that had tassels on and some kind of pink embroidery. Add that to the fact I had a curly afro and I looked like I ran away from a circus in Texas. Not that my dress sense has improved much since then but at least it’s what I choose so I have no one to blame but myself.

I’m sure there are a hundred tiny little things that could be argued either way. I’m sure there are days we all feel like we’re stuck in a rut and if only we could go forward or go back. But whoever you are, where ever you are, just remember at least whatever happens here on out, at least it’s your choice. You know that having another cookie will not ruin your appetite and that you won’t get sick because you’re barefoot.

So here we are, not as young as we once were and not everything has yet fallen into place. I guess we’ll just have to float around for a bit, here in the middle.


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